Imposter Syndrome
Recently, patients have been telling me about situations where they are experiencing Imposter Syndrome. You know that feeling you get in your body when you feel like everyone around you can see right through you. Your brain starts racing and the thoughts spiral. The truth has been revealed and the world knows that you have no idea what you are doing, and never did. Your flaws and lack of talent and experience have finally been uncovered. You are a fake.
Who has not felt this way at some point in life? A recent study by Innovate MR reported that 65% of working professionals and 53% of women between the ages of 25 and 34 have suffered from Imposter Syndrome at some point in their careers. It is normal to feel uncertain and uncomfortable in life, but that does not necessarily make you a fraud. Sit for a moment, and really think about the word, “Imposter.” One dictionary definition of this word states an imposter as being, “ A person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain.” Is that what YOU are doing? Are you trying to deceive others on purpose? My guess is probably not.
Most people experience Imposter Syndrome when they are learning or practicing a new skill set, or adjusting to a new environment or life transition. Maybe you just graduated from college or Grad school. Maybe you just got a new job, or got placed on a new work team. Maybe you just moved, or moved in with someone. Anything new is going to take time, and when you are learning, things will feel hard, overwhelming, and awkward. Feeling like you have no idea what you are doing does not make you an imposter-it makes you a beginner.
“In the beginner’s mind, there are endless possibilities; in the expert’s mind, there are few. “ Shunryu Suzuki Soto, Zen monk and teacher. When you are learning, you are going to make mistakes. You are going to feel uncomfortable, and you are going to have moments when you doubt yourself. That is what learning is all about. Give yourself time, patience, grace, and a good dose of humor to ease into learning something unfamiliar. Monitor your self-talk, and do not beat yourself up when you say or do something wrong. Be honest with yourself and with those around you. Accept help and ask for support. You cannot be an imposter if you are learning with genuine intentions.
There are true imposters in every field and industry. Some may appear to have a more polished exterior than you do, or look like they have it all together. They may call themselves “Experts”, or claim to have talents, skills, or credentials that few others possess. These people may undermine your skills, invalidate your work, or try to make you feel like you are beneath them. Imposters feel powerful and important when they make others feel small. Pay close attention to these people. Notice their movements and how they interact with others. With time, cracks in the exterior become visible. Eventually, the veil drops, imposters are exposed for who they truly are-people with insecurities who have not done the work, not put in the time, and have cut corners for personal gain. Be mindful of the energy you feel when you encounter these people, and do not let them shake your confidence.
To the imposters I have encountered, and for those to come, I say this: My mind has been conditioned to endure. My body has put in the miles and the hours to sustain and maintain the work I do. It took me a long time to be where I am in life, and there is more to come. In the end, I will outlast you. My service to others is based on facts, research, and a genuine intent to help. I continue to live with gratitude and a beginner’s mind every day, as there is always something new to discover, no matter how much I already know. I stopped caring about what people think long ago, and I have never been happier in life than right now.
What are you going to say to your imposters that you encounter, and more importantly, what are you saying to yourself? Are you embracing the journey of learning with a beginner’s mind, or berating yourself with harsh words? Next time you feel that anxious feeling in your body, Pause, Breath, and Respond. Move forward with kindness, persistence and consistency. Smile, and embrace the humanness of learning and growing.
